つれづれなるままに

If it all were but another dream, how happy I would be

But I still see, nearly nightly, only you consuming my dreams

When I leave behind, something of mine, I stop to go and find

Brushing dust from memories of you and I, put on rewind

Learning happiness is easy spent, but cannot be returned

You had taught me what I now see, as I look back and I learn

With a hidden past too dark to cast away all on my own

And without you, maybe that too, would have never turned to hope

All the hurt and the pain I found

Sinking into me, deeply now

Found that nothing could hurt me more, than what I feel now

Even all the heartache, all that crying

Even all the hurting, like I’m dying

I remember every second with you, and I loved it, everything

Even now remaining is that bitter

Scent of lemon, that’ll never leave

Waiting out the rain, I can’t go home until it clears away

Even now, you’re still inside, you are my light that never fades

Tracing out the lines, your back, inside a dark so deep and blind

Every last edge of your shape then, I can still see in my mind

When I’m by myself and overwhelmed with what I can’t accept

Falling down fast, from my eyes at last, my tears are all that’s left

What are you even doing now? What are you seeing all around?

Faces that I will never see, I won’t know a thing

Even if you’re somewhere out there, hiding

Even if you’re lonely, maybe crying

Drowning in the pain, is it still hurting you just like its hurting me?

But I’m really hoping you forget me,

Please just forget it, everything

From the bottom of my empty heart, I’m hoping every day

Even now, you still remain, you are my light that never fades

Until now I never knew

I was so in love with you

Since you had to go and leave

It’s been hard for me to breathe

Like I thought, those days you stood by me

Now they seem just like a dream

But they’re not, and hope I won’t forget

That one truth, since it’s all I have left

Even all the heartache, all that crying

Even all the hurting, like I’m dying

I remember every second with you, and I loved it, everything

Even now remaining, is that bitter

Scent of lemon, that’ll never leave

Waiting out the rain, I can’t go home until it clears away

Like a single half of fruit, split into pieces where they lay

Even now, you still remain, you are my light that never fades